I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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