I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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