I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
