I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
