We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
