i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
