I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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