I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
