Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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