You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
