You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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