What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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