to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
