p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
