What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
