Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
