Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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