I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
