I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Are my feet made of real feet?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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