Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
