508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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