I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
