What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Fuck appropriateness.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
