I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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