I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
