You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Your cock deserves a montage
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
