on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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