It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
