I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Pants are for mortals
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
