So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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