you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
