and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
