Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
