this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
