Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He better not be in your backpack
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
