Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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