If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
