this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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