I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
