i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
