I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
