We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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