I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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