Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
cat food counts as protein by the way
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
