just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Damn victory sex feels great
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize