fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
