Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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