for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
