She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
