sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
